Give me a moment

This was composed while I waited today for the doctor during my 6 week post-op from my hysterectomy -a day after Father’s day. My surgery was 3 days before Mother’s day. I can hear them checking for an unborn baby’s heartbeat next door. A week after my surgery, my first post-op, I heard the same. It’s a beautiful sound. It’s breath taking moment that I am unexpectedly forced to participate in.  

If you love someone in my shoes or who struggles with infertility or the horrible sorrow that comes with miscarriages– love them enough to give them a moment. I know they want to be excited for you, but emotions tend to rear their heads at odd moments. 

Ladies, and gentlemen, who also struggle with this grief, love yourself enough to give yourself that moment. 

(A letter to a friend)

(Internet search for ultrasound heartbeat)

Give Me A Moment (RKG 6/2017)

Please, just give me a moment. 

Just a few to catch my breath. 

Just a few to stop the tears.

Please, my friend, just give me a moment to grieve. 

Give me a chance to package up these emotions and store them in a safe place. 

I’ll be happy for you in just a moment, but this is still so new. 

No matter how many years go by, knee jerk reactions might still bring tears to my eyes.

It’s not against you, please don’t ever think that.

But, you see, grief is this weird thing. It ebbs and flows and sometimes attempts to drown you like a sneaker wave.

Even if I had known this was needed, so that I can have a better life, grief is waiting for those moments when I think I’m past the pain. 

The what ifs and the could have beens, are annoying little mosquitos waiting to suck the joy out of your moment.

So please. Just give me a moment to spare you unwarranted pain. 

You deserve your joy and your excitement. Please, help me not to tarnish it.

I am so happy for you, my dear sweet friend. I’ll be the first to plan your shower of joy, if you just give me a moment to wipe the unexpected tears from my eyes. 

My joy for you will overshadow these feelings of sadness for a future left unwritten, if you but give me a moment to acknowledge the pain it carries. 

I have such plans to spoil your beloved little joy, books to read, games to play. If you would just sit a moment with me under my little rain cloud. 

Just hold my hand for a moment, please.

I’ll dry off these tears and force my smile until it’s real. I’ll hold that little sweet bundle and count the toes. 

I’ll wait until I’m home, before I think of the no longer possible. 

Don’t give me platitudes because you can’t think of what to say. Just promise me to chew on your words a little before you say them to me.

I don’t want to be bitter, so please just give me a moment. 

I’ll be happy for you. I’ll be so excited for you, if you just know that I need a moment.

A moment to shake hands with my grief. 

A moment to acknowledge the empty space in me. 

A moment to remind myself, that grief is okay, but so is joy. 

Give me a moment to move pass this sorrow so I can be with you in your joy.

Please, give me just a moment.

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This is connected to my post Fight For Your Health if you are curious to what lead to this letter. 

I also encourage you dear reader, that if you find either post encouraging or enlightening, to please like it on this blog so others might be able to find it. In this world of blogs, billions of posts are published every day. Help a writer out and put a star on one that helps you! 

Changing the World- MLK Jr

Today is the birthday of the late great Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Days like this, I wonder, have we succeeded in making his dreams come true?
Sure, we now have an African- American man in the Oval Office, but how is the prejudice and the racial stereotyping?
I personally think that we have just gotten really good at hiding our politically INcorrect language and feelings. Perhaps our children are not quite as prejudice as our grandparents were, but are they truly changing the world with true tolerance?  (By tolerance, I am not talking about today’s wishywashy understanding of tolerance, but God’s divine love where despite our brokenness and sin riddled souls he still loves us)- It is a known fact that to be prejudiced is actually a learned trait, it’s not breed into us like our eye color or height.
Faking tolerance by cleaning up our language isn’t what is going to change the world- it is in actually reaching out and creating relationships with those who we term ‘different.’ It’s about encouraging one another to change our basic attitude. It’s about learning to love one another on the truly spiritual Body of Christ way.
This means that our church, local and global, is the last place where prejudice should be found.
How is our church stacking up to God’s decree? When we are called to love our neighbors as ourselves in James 2:8; to love each other as Christ loves us in John 13:34; we were ALL created in God’s image as can be evidenced in Genesis 1:26-27; and God loved us so much that He sent His son to die for US ALL John 3:16.
Are we loving each other the way we should?
Are we loving each other as Rev. King had hoped we would by now?
You be the judge.
And remember- “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3: 38).”

“We must live together as brothers or perish together as fools.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy to a friend.” -MLK Jr
“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?”-MLK Jr

“Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, “Love your enemies.” It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them, and they can’t stand it too long. Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they’ll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love they will break down under the load. That’s love, you see. It is redemptive, and this is why Jesus says love. There’s something about love that builds up and is creative. There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive. So love your enemies. (from MLK’s “Loving Your Enemies”)”

Here’s hoping that the world changes even more before we leave it. Praying for change and the gumption to be part of it.

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Please, meet me in heaven!

It’s been a couple of emotionally wrought months in my little valley.  We’ve had the highs, in the form of many weddings (I personally attended six in a month and a half).  And now we have the lows.

~We have celebrated the life of a older gentleman (J.P.) who gave of his time and finances to those in need.

~As a community we celebrated the faithfulness of a sweet 28 year old who died unexpectedly. She (S.F.)was a true sister in the Christ, who loved her Heavenly Father with every inch of her big heart. Even though her death was so unexpected with her being so young, her memorial service was full of laughter and rejoicing amidst the tears because we knew where she was going.

~This weekend, we gathered together to celebrate the graduation into Glory of a 92 year old woman (R.B) who is now wonderfully free of the Alzheimer’s that removed precious memories from this vibrant woman.  She is dancing before her Lord, the One she spoke about with such passionate love.

~And soon, we will once more come together to rejoice the home-coming of another saint. A warrior in the fight against the insidious breast cancer, (C.P.) was a woman who lived out her faith in a quiet way that rippled into everyone who came in contact with her. A role model of how to keep one’s faith strong even in the moments of such pain and uncertainty.

Even in so much sorrow, joy resounds.

Our tears of sadness are not tears of the hopeless.

We of the Faith do not say “Good-Bye” but rather “I’ll see you soon!”

In the quiet of the night when sorrow ‘s presence refuses to leave, we are held close by the Father who understands it all.

Rather than be alone in our grief, we turn to our family, the one that God created. The Church becomes a refuge of available shoulders and shared memories. Within the Church one can cry and others join in, and when laughter resounds, they share the joy.

Romans 12:15- “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.”

 The difference is simple. I have been to too many funerals of those who have no hope in the eternal life with Christ, they never accepted the sacrifice that was freely given. And so, the sorrow was thick upon the brows of all those who mourn. My heart was so heavy with the grief of knowing that this wonderful person would not be in Heaven upon my arrival. I would grieve for the loss of that soul for the rest of my life.

The Father’s grief is so much stronger than mine. He mourns for every lost soul. These people whom He loves so very much refuse to turn to Him, they refuse to accept His gift of eternal life.

Matthew 23:37  –“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing. “

 I would rather participate in a thousand more home- coming celebrations for the saints of Christ, than grieve for one more beloved lost soul.

So, I pray. I act. I tell.

Please my dear friend, let me tell you the story of the God who stepped off of His throne to be borne of a virgin. Let me tell you of the God I love, who of His own free will, died a horrendous death upon a cross, who stayed in the grave for three days to arise on the third. Let me tell you of my Savior who is at this moment in Heaven awaiting the time when He will come to judge the earth and all of its inhabitants of their sins.

Let me tell you of a Love never ending and all encompassing.

Please, just listen.

Please, meet me in Heaven.