> I’m Learning Disabled.
There. I said it. It’s out there for all of cyber-world to see and to judge.
What does that label say to you?
If you don’t know me, perhaps you think I’m slow, not all there, perhaps you want to go to the next blog right about now. You think the label is exactly what I am. I’m obviously doing a gross exaggeration here. Just like you are. I am nearly 26 years old and I have lived with the label of being learning disabled all my life. Imagine how heavy a label like that is to a young girl who is just trying get through 4th grade math.
I have struggled with a speech impediment since I started to talk, I have dyscalculia (dyslexia in math), troubles in reading, writing, comprehension, and retention. This is what I have lived with all my life.
I am blessed.
How does that strike people who believe being disabled is a horrendous diagnose?
I can stand here and truly say with the most sincere heart that God has truly blessed me by giving me my learning disabilities. Without them I would not be the person I am today. Through the continual refining fires of tribulation I have become a better person. God has gifted me with an non-repayable gift by allowing me to don this human label of being disabled in the eyes of man.
Believe me when I say that it has been a long bumpy road for me to be able to stand here and say that yes, I am blessed in my learning disabilities. I have gone through my disappointments, my rage, my sulks, and even a touch of hatred towards the ‘normals.’ I have hated myself for my faults, I have suffered from a low self-esteem, and I have suffered through the shame of the labels that others have placed upon me. I have struggled, but now, as I have worked through it, I realize that God has shown me a different view in a hidden world that many people do not see.
By being gifted with learning disabilities I have straddled two worlds- by being given a non-see-able disability I am able walk among the ‘normals’ who speak their true feelings regarding the disabled (whether good or bad) and then as someone who spent time among those special ones in the everyday grinds of school in Sped Ed, I saw what I could have been and what others struggle with. And empathy grew.
I have gained understanding and I have had my eyes opened. I have become knowledgeable to the ways others struggle and I have gained the desire to sit beside someone and hear their thoughts and their fears. I believe it is because God has forced me to deal with my own feelings in regards to who I am.
God has a plan for each child out there who is born normally gifted and those who are born with a different abilities. We ALL have a purpose in this earth. God chose a special gift for each person that has ever been born- whether they live for mere moments or if they lived till they were 106. Even the children who never drew breath had a purpose. There was a reason that God sent you and me and the millions of other souls to earth. There is something that we are to do, something that only our special gifting can accomplish.
With my learning disabilities there is something that only I can accomplish in this little bit of the world. I have to believe this because this is what God has shown me. I may still struggle but ultimately I can breathe easier because I know that God’s will will be done.
I have set my mind to wholeheartedly follow after God so that he may use me to do his will. And through that the reason for my disability is made known. To humble me so that I may look past differences and see the broken person beneath. God is indeed good for blessing me so much.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
John 9: 1-12
Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind
1 As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
“I don’t know,” he said.